Chapter 8
Forced Into Your World Instead Of Building Ours
Instead of gently shaping a shared life where there was space enough for both of us to belong, you pushed and fitted me entirely into yours. It is often such a dark, lonely place here — far colder and quieter than the simpler world I knew when I walked alone. I admit there were moments of light too: small enough joys, true enough — because your very presence could make me smile; because even a crumb of attention from you felt like treasure enough to lift my heart.
But little by little, you taught me to soften, smooth, and sugarcoat every word I spoke, every thought I held, every way I acted — just so I might fit neatly inside your boundaries, just as you believed was “best” for you. In doing so, you stepped right past my happiness, my needs, and the whole life I carried within myself — while you guarded your own comfort and desires above all else.
No matter how I adjusted, how I tried, or how much I gave… deep down I remained unfulfilled and unhappy. I see now clearly how selfish it was: you asked me to fill every hollow space and emptiness inside your heart, yet steadily stripped away the very things that kept my heart alive and full. You demanded I be the source of your joy, yet you never paused to ask — or care — what might bring joy to me.
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