Parrot-dise Lost

And then, just when you thought the partridge’s insides couldn’t possibly get any more crowded, she did something truly baffling. She swallowed a parrot. Now, how one swallows a parrot is a mystery for the ages. Was it a particularly small parrot? Or was this partridge’s gullet some kind of magical, bottomless pit? The narrator, bless her bewildered heart, had no idea. She just knew that the partridge, with a gulp that sounded suspiciously like a squawk, had managed to cram a whole, feathered parrot down her already bursting throat.

“A parrot!” the narrator exclaimed, throwing her hands up in disbelief. “I don’t know how she swallowed a parrot!” And no wonder. Parrots aren’t exactly known for their slim figures, and this one, with its vibrant plumage and beak, seemed like a particularly awkward thing to ingest. But the partridge, oh no, she wasn't done. She had a plan, a convoluted, nonsensical plan that involved this new, squawking addition.

She swallowed the parrot, you see, to peck the bear. Yes, the bear. The enormous, furry bear that was already taking up a considerable amount of real estate inside her. The parrot, presumably, was meant to be a tiny, feathery prod, a feathered annoyance to nudge the slumbering bear into action. One could only imagine the scene: a partridge, stuffed to the brim with a pear, cat, dog, hen, fish, and a bear, now trying to orchestrate a parrot-based bear-nudging operation. It was a spectacle worthy of a circus, if the circus tent was, in fact, the partridge's expanding belly.