Chapter 9
The 'Observation' Debacle
Arke attempts to observe human mating rituals at a speed dating event, leading to awkward encounters and Sandy's mortified attempts to intervene.
I swear, sometimes I think the universe just has a special little spotlight aimed directly at my head, ready to shower me with whatever bizarre, life-altering experiences it can conjure. This time, it was speed dating. And Arke. Oh, sweet, majestic, utterly clueless Arke.
The flyer, plastered haphazardly on a lamppost outside a decidedly unglamorous community hall, promised “An Evening of Swift Romance!” and “Find Your Perfect Match in Minutes!” My initial thought was, ‘Nope, too much pressure. I’d rather spend an evening wrestling a badger.’ But then I remembered Arke.
He’d been poring over his Lyran datapad with a furrowed brow that made his magnificent mane seem to droop with existential dread. “Sandy,” he’d sighed, his voice a low rumble that always made my teeth vibrate slightly, “my research into Earthling pair-bonding rituals remains… incomplete.” He’d gestured vaguely at a diagram on his screen that looked suspiciously like a family tree for a particularly inbred royal lineage. “The nuances elude me. The abruptness of the ‘swiping’ phenomenon, the illogical nature of ‘ghosting’… it requires direct