Chapter 5
What I Understand — And What I Cannot
You truly have no measure of how deep and sharp the pain of neglect really cuts. You give effort only when your mood inclines you; meanwhile, every part of my mood, my peace, and my heart comes to depend entirely upon your actions — or your lack of them. How you choose to treat me day by day does not only shape us; it sets the tone of every quiet corner of our home.
I have learned to accept so much already: no flowers, I understand. No surprises, no planned dates, no small gifts — I tell myself I understand. You have never once taken me walking through a mall or sitting together in a simple restaurant, and I have learned to soften that longing too. Even when the things I truly need or hope for are never bought or given, I swallow the disappointment and say nothing.
But what I cannot understand — what no patience can make right — is this: how you expect me to stay happy, when I am never made to feel wanted, never truly loved.
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