A New Purpose, Hilariously Defined

Elara found that embracing the absurd was, in fact, rather like embracing a particularly enthusiastic, if slightly damp, badger. It squirmed, it wriggled, and it smelled faintly of desperation and old socks. But once you’d committed, there was no going back without significant, and frankly embarrassing, effort. Her new role within the Society of the Unseen Sniff (a name that still made her want to giggle into her teacup) was precisely this: a badger-hugger of epic, and often hilarious, proportions.

Her primary duty, as explained by the Representative, whose gender remained as fluid as a particularly wobbly jelly, was “observational acuity in the pursuit of optimal ceremonial trajectory.” This, Elara had quickly deduced, translated to “watching everyone else make a complete hash of things and occasionally pointing out the obvious, but only after the most spectacular disasters have occurred.”

Take, for instance, the Grand Unfurling of the Gilded Scone. This hallowed ritual, performed every Tuesday afternoon, involved the presentation of a supposedly ancient scone, dusted with edible gold leaf, to the “most deserving member of the week.” Deserving, in this context, meant whoever had managed to avoid tripping over their ceremonial robes, spilling their elderflower cordial, or accidentally setting fire to the ornamental doilies.